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Ewetopia, A Land Far From Normal - Chapter 6
By Marie Ellen Pacha
Morning arrived suddenly and in startling fashion for Shepherd. Hearing what sounded like an army of rather large vehicles outside, Lamby leaped to her feet with no warning. Unfortunately Shepherd's head was still in place on the pillow as well, and lucky for him that when he rolled out of the way of her hooves (which were flailing about) Herman had remained in Lamby's bed. Otherwise Shepherd might have had a hedgehog mustache.
Shepherd bounded immediately to his feet, catching Lamby who had flipped off the bed into the air at his sudden movement. Herman lay in his little bed eyes wide opened in astonishment at their actions. When they finally stopped...he burst into applause, for what was surely the most exciting acrobatics he had ever seen.
"LAMBY!!" Shepherd was just barely starting to talk when he was interrupted by a knock on the door.
Seizing the opportunity to save herself, Lamby dashed to the door, calling back over her shoulder, "I'll get it Shepherd, Sir," and she opened it and greeted Sisy before Shepherd had a chance to continue.
"Why good day Sisy! What a pleasure to see you?" she spoke using her most proper language.
Shepherd was smoothing his hair down, from its position of terror (straight up on his head) as he moved to the door to greet Sisy. That gave Lamby time to grab Herman and dash outside on the porch to see what had caused the commotion.
"I have brought the equipment to begin digging the cement pond and to make the foundation Shepherd," Sisy announced this rather formally. "Are you ready to begin?'
"That was certainly quick, Sisy, but yes....let the construction begin. Perhaps in the future you could delay the start until just AFTER daylight however?" Shepherd answered.
"No problem," said Sisy, "The equipment arrived from Normal this morning and we only have it for a little while."
At that time Shepherd, who not quite so dazed by now, realized that Lamby was no longer in the palace with him and he bellowed, "LAMBY!" nearly deafening Sisy in the process. "GET BACK HERE AND DON'T LEAVE THE PORCH UNTIL I SAY!"
Strangely enough she heard him, even over the rumbling of the heavy equipment outside. She dragged her hooves slowly back to the porch and looked up at Shepherd with an EXTREMELY sheepish smile on her face.
"Yes Sir, Shepherd Sir," and then she hugged his knees.
He rolled his eyes, knowing perfectly well he was being maneuvered by her, and set her and Herman gently in the porch swing where they would get a better view of the activities. Lamby seemed particularly enchanted by the cement mixture which was going round and round.
In an effort to keep her distracted and out of trouble, he gave her the cell phone and told her to order breakfast from Jack, and ask Eddie and Mumm if they would come on out for a bit.
Meanwhile he and Sisy watched as the bulldozer and trucks moved to the pond area, where they began excavating a very large hole. The flamingoes were all chattering excitedly and discussing exactly how they would landscape the area.
Lamby made the phone calls and waited impatiently for her breakfast. Shepherd had spoken to Jack the night before and suggested fruit, as he was afraid Lamby was going to become quite round if she continued to eat everything in sight.
About that time I showed up. I also do double duty as the mailman. One of Sisy's trucks was blocking the mailbox and Shepherd saw that I wasn't quite sure where to take the mail. He called out to Lamby, "Lamby please get the mail." She dashed off the porch and grabbed the mail from me. Little did I or Shepherd realize, he had given her the permission to leave the porch that she had eagerly been waiting for.
"There's a letter here for you Lamby," I told her. And I showed her the envelope, clearly addressed to:
Lamby
c/o Shepherd
Plywood Palace
"There is? What on earth could it be?" she responded, both excited and somewhat distracted. Her eyes kept moving to the cement mixer which was still going round and round, having just finished pouring quick drying cement in the patio area surrounding the new cement pond. Sisy's crew had just finished smoothing the last of the cement, and it was already beginning to set up.
"Well, by the looks of the envelope, I think it must be your credit card," I answered. "It will allow you to pay for those things you and Herman have been ooohing and ahhhing about in the catalog."
"YOU MEAN I CAN REALLY HAVE THOSE THINGS?" Lamby asked with great enthusiasm. She was so loud in fact that I had to cover my ears.
"Yes Lamby. Just be sure it is something you might need or truly want. It's one of the benefits of living in our little hamlet."
With that she dashed back to the porch with the mail, and she and Herman tore open her envelope and began chattering at a pace previously unknown to man or lamb. If my hearing had NOT received the onslaught of Lamby's enthusiasm perhaps I might have heard what they were discussing and warned Shepherd. Twas not to be.
I turned and spoke to the driver of the vehicle in front of the palace, just exchanging pleasantries, when the next thing I knew, our young Lamby was on top of the revolving cement truck. She was prancing around, and Herman (who by now I was convinced was a bad influence on her) was applauding vigorously. Shepherd saw her just as I did, and yelled (rather loudly), "LAMBY!"
She stumbled...went to her knees and went flying as the tank of the trunk revolved around. Shepherd was on the wrong side of the truck to catch her and she landed, a perfect four point, on the newly poured and nearly hardened cement.
"Oooops," she said, and smiled up sweetly at Shepherd. "I believe I shall require some assistance in getting off the cement Shepherd Sir, unless of course you want me to just walk off?"
"NO!!" he replied in a rather out of sorts manner. "Stay just where you are." And he had Sisy bring over his forklift and climbed in the bucket and with a bit of deft maneuvering on the driver's part, Lamby was scooped up and deposited safely on the grass. There in the poured cement was a perfect set of her hooves.
"Lamby, didn't I tell you to stay on the porch?" Shepherd asked in slightly better control of himself.
"Yes Sir, Shepherd Sir, but you told me to get the mail. And I was within your sight Sir," she answered in the most innocent sounding voice, while batting her eyes up at him.
"But," and he was suddenly at a loss for words. She HAD done what he had told her. It was his own fault for not being more specific. And he made another mental note to himself about how to handle this particular lamb. He sighed, and said, "So I did Lamby, and so you were. Next time I will be more careful about what I tell you. I guess Sisy, we shall leave the hoof prints there, as a reminder that Lamby was here." At that he took a long stick and wrote the year, 2004, beneath her hoof prints in the cement.
I was so happy to have been there to witness both Lamby's performance and the dating. It would appear as the headline in the next issue of our weekly paper. Though I must admit, since Lamby's arrival we had a great deal more news than we used to.
Having resolved the issue of the cement, Lamby was busy tearing open her mail, while at the same time eating her breakfast which had finally arrived. It had been all of a half hour, but she was sure she was nearly starved.
"Shepherd Sir?" she asked in her MOST polite tone.
"Yes, Lamby?" he answered, hoping against hope that her question would not be too complicated.
"My credit card arrived today, and I would like to order some things from the catalog, but it says we must have an address including a town and/or hamlet name. What please is the name of the hamlet?"
At that, everyone in the area paused.
"Why we have never named the hamlet. We never needed to as we always knew where it was, "Shepherd answered looking at the catalog ordering page carefully. "They have changed the information required for ordering!" he said rather indignantly. "What shall we do?"
"I'll put it in the paper, and we'll have a hamlet meeting. Everyone can think of a name they like and we can vote on it," I spoke next.
"Wonderful idea, please do so." Shepherd responded. "The paper comes out tomorrow; can you get the notice in that issue? We can have the meeting on Thursday and get it taken care of."
"I'll get right to work on it Shepherd," and I hurried off to my office. I completely forgot in my hurry that I had a letter for Shepherd as well. It was marked "Urgent" and it came from Whimsey. I remembered it when I arrived at my office, and planned a return trip to the palace as soon as I prepared the initial notice about the hamlet meeting.
By the time I returned to the palace (in about an hour), Eddie, Mumm, Jack, Bob, Prev and Sisy were discussing possible names for the hamlet. Lamby was listening curiously to all the suggestions, and asked if she could prepare the ballot for the voting once the decision was made. Everyone agreed; thinking perhaps that being occupied would keep her out of trouble.
I gave Shepherd the letter, and he went inside to open it. After a bit he called Jack and Bob inside. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but Lamby was sitting on the porch with Herman, and I saw her ears tilt in the direction of the open door, and after a bit I saw a single tear trickle down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly with her hoof and when she saw me looking at her, smiled.
"Must be some cement dust in my fleece, "she said. I simply nodded, suspecting it was much more than that. I still had work to do for the next edition of the paper, and I headed off to take care of that.
Eddie and Mumm had come to give Lamby her bath, and now she needed her nails redone as well. By this time Lamby thoroughly enjoyed her bath, and when she saw the tub filled to the top with warm sudsy water she took a running start and leaped into the tub. In the process of doing so, water was splashed all over the floor, half the ceiling, and a shelf holding a number of small bottles. Mumm and Eddie had by now taken to wearing raincoats for bath time; it saved them a great deal of time doing laundry. Shepherd starting wiping off the shelf; placing the bottles on the table until he had it dried off. But at that point he was called outside to make a decision on the depth of the moat. He left one bottle on the table near the nail polish.
After Lamby was done in the tub, Eddie and Mumm started mopping up the floor as walking was rather treacherous. Lamby was sitting quietly at the table. Herman had hidden in his little bed at the mention of the word bath. Lamby was looking quite carefully at the bottles there, trying to decide on the proper color of nail polish, testing a bit on each hoof, to check the color.
She opened the bottle Shepherd had placed on the table and didn't see a brush inside, so she dabbed her hoof at the tip of it. There didn't seem to be anything in the bottle....she didn't quite notice the drop of clear liquid that was on her hoof and she sat the bottle back and the table and scratched her ear perplexed.
She was even more perplexed when she tried to pull her hoof off her ear and it remained stuck firmly in place.
"EEEEEEEEK!" she screamed. And everyone came running. By this time she had slipped off her chair and was hobbling around in circles on three hooves. "My HOOF IS STUCK!" she shouted again. Apparently thinking her hearing was damaged as well.
"What have you done now Lamby, and PLEASE hold still so we can check this out," Shepherd spoke.
And Eddie and Mumm and Shepherd realized that Lamby had stuck herself to herself with the glue. They discussed all possible remedies, including trimming her fleece. That thought sent Lamby into a tizzy.
"Perhaps we can release her with nail polish remover," Eddie suggested. They agreed that would be the best thing to try, but Shepherd paused (only briefly) considering how much easier it would be to keep track of Lamby if her movement was limited. He chastised himself mentally immediately, knowing that was no way for a Shepherd to behave, but also recalling that only cursory information had been given him regarding prodigy lambs, as they were extremely rare.
Mumm dug into her cosmetic case; in itself a thing of wonder, which would have held Lamby's attention for hours had she not been otherwise occupied, trying to tug her hoof free from her ear, and bleating pathetically at her failure.
"Hold still you silly lamb," Shepherd held her gently, receiving numerous contusions in the process. Mumm gently dabbed at the attached areas with the polish remover until Lamby was finally freed from herself.
"YAAAAAAAAY1" she shouted in glee. Everyone hands immediately went to their ears. "I AM FREE!"
"Rule #4," said Shepherd strictly. "NO SUPER GLUE."
"Yes Sir! Shepherd Sir!' and Lamby would have saluted, but thought better of placing her hoof too near her head again, just at present anyway.
"Lamby, why don't you and Herman go out to the porch? Take the cell phone and place the order for the things you want. Tell them you will call back on Thursday with the address. But do NOT leave the porch, "Shepherd said firmly. "I have some things to discuss with Mumm and Eddie."
And off went Herman and Lamby.
Now Shepherd had a great deal on his mind. As he had explained to Bob and Jack, he had received a message from Whimsey explaining that a flock of refugee sheep had arrived in their village and needed to be resettled. Apparently their meadow had been taken over by a General Wolff from somewhere in Normal. He was semi-retired from his Shepherd duties, at least until Lamby appeared, but he was the nearest available Shepherd and as soon as he got the palace finished and Lamby settled he would have to leave. There was no way to tell when he would come back or even if he would. But that remained unspoken.
Mumm and Eddie were aghast at the thought of him leaving, and even more aghast at the thought of how Lamby would react. They knew even better than he did, that she had given her heart to her rescuer. They could see it in the way she watched him, and the way her face lit up when he was present. Even the way she tried, in spite of herself, to do as he would wish. Eddie and Mumm knew he would have to leave though, and they knew that Lamby would need their friendship all the more when that happened.
Now Mumm and Eddie were both pretty wise ladies. They knew that Shepherds were usually solitary people, not because they didn't love or couldn't love, but because they were afraid of how much losing it would hurt. Lamby on the other hand, had a heart full of love, and to not share it was impossible for her.
She would love again, never quite the same, and maybe not as much. But it was in her nature to give love, and to be loved, and so she would. They looked at each, just understanding.
Shepherd would have done well to have kept one ear on Lamby at the same time he spoke to the ladies, but she was sitting quietly on the porch with Herman, and it seemed innocent enough. After all, what could she possibly order from the catalog that could cause any problems?
It was nearly suppertime as they finished talking and Shepherd was amazed that Lamby had not complained that she had missed lunch, but the day's excitement had clearly thrown off her internal clock.
She came into the palace just about then, and said, "Have you put me on a diet? Am I never going to eat again? I feel faint, and I think I might be starving to death."
They all laughed, considering her girth had noticeably increased in the few days she had been in the hamlet. But they tossed together a meal of leftovers (quite a feast actually) and stood back at a safe distance while Lamby and Herman went at it. No wolf ever attacked a lamb with more vigor than Lamby attacked a plate of food.
Following dinner, while the ladies cleaned up, Shepherd played his guitar and Lamby curled up and fell asleep at his feet. Rather than lay her in the bed where Herman was sprawled, and risk her getting poked by his quills, Shepherd placed her on his pillow, under the laughing eyes of Eddie and Mumm.
"Well, she winds up there every night anyway," he said, resigned to his fate, and not fooling the ladies at all.
The ladies left, Shepherd lay down and slept, after clearing a small spot on his pillow for his head.
Continue to Chapter 7
This article is © copyrighted by Marie Ellen Pacha. Any use of this article, in full or in part, is strictly prohibited without written permission from Marie Ellen Pacha.
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